Well, it’s the 11th of October 2022. I’m sitting in my home in Thailand watching and listening to the rain as the monsoon refreshes everything. My coffee is sitting on the table next to me, and Bear is enjoying ravaging a bone I gave him moments ago.
It’s during moments like this when I cannot go anywhere or do anything that I sit with my coffee and reflect on times gone by. I don’t write my journeys for anyone else’s pleasure. However, if anybody gets enjoyment reading my chronicles then that’s a bonus. I write to relive the moments and refresh the wondrous memories I have. Bringing back to life in writing the awesome people that I engaged with in those places and during those moments.
So where do I start with this one? Well if you the reader refer to my other writings you will know that I was stationed with the military in Berlin. I also was present for the wondrous historical moment of the wall coming down on November the 9th 1989. Though I was stationed in Berlin, my place of work was the Berlin Adventure Training Center Bavaria. Some ten hours drive away as we had to travel the military corridor to Helmstedt before heading south. Not the most direct route to Steibis.
My reporting date for work back at Steibis was the 22 of November. So I had time to engage with the massive influx of East Germans to West Berlin. But my focus was on my trip south. While sat in the NAFFI having a coffee break and voicing my woes about my upcoming ten-hour journey. One of the guys I was sat with said “Sod going via Helmstedt, go out the southern checkpoint at Waltersdorfer Chausee, then just drive south through East Germany.” I asked around the table about the legalities of this, and the general conscientious was that it should be OK.
A company clerk, who was also sitting with us said he would look into it and call me later..! True to his word he called me on the phone in my office about an hour later. He made it clear to me that on paper it was doable. However, nobody had done it yet. I would be the first. And if I drove all the way across Berlin to be turned around just because a Russian didn’t like my face then that would add two hours to an already long journey to Helmstedt. The risk he said was all mine.
Well as with most great decisions in life. I decided to sleep on it. Waking the next morning feeling well-slept and fully refreshed at a comfortable 9:30. I headed over to the NAFFI, the idea was to grab a coffee and mull over the idea a little more. The reality was I bought a large pack of Jumbo Mars Bars, several sandwiches and two tins of Coke. Vital supplies for my journey. Looks like I had made my decision. As the NAFFI was almost empty at this early hour there was nobody to talk me out of my crazy plan. So my journey was on..!
With a little excitement in my step, I headed back to my accommodation to pack my stuff and load my car. One thing all my years as a Scout, Scout Leader and member of her Majesty’s Armed Forces has taught me, it is to travel light. So loading my trusty Rover 216 S didn’t take long and I was soon on my way to Berlin Zoo. The Zoo you may well ask? Yes, this is where, if you were in the know. One could meet nefarious people who dealt in the Black Market and traded US Dollars at an awesome exchange rate of 21 to one. As I would be travelling through East Germany I would need East Marks for Fuel and food stops.
Once I had completed my dodgy dealings and had a fist full of East Marks I was on my way to Checkpoint Charlie. I had to pass through Checkpoint Charlie as that was still the only official way into the East for Military Personnel even though the wall had been breached in many other locations. And I certainly did not want to upset anyone and get turned back at the last minute. So ID Card, Passport and NATO Travel Order in hand I entered the Porter Cabin that was Checkpoint Charlie. Once inside you approach the counter and present your details. Get logged in officially then you are off into the east and have to return to the west before Midnight.
I have no idea who said it but someone said “Nothing is ever easy in this life..!” I strongly believe that the British Royal Military Police are placed strategically around the world as the embodiment of that Quote. The first guy I saw was an RMP corporal. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, ok he was just doing his job. He had never dealt with a non-returning transit before. But his blanket statement of “You cannot do that you must go via Helmstedt..!” was just not going to cut it with me..! His instant rejection had now set me on a mission..! I was going south and this spotty teenager with no sense of adventure was not going to stop me.
I have found over many years that if you are not getting satisfaction while communicating with a Minion just go up a level to his boss. My next encounter was with the Desk Sergeant. This chap wasn’t much older. But one must be wary of young newly promoted people they have unused power straining in the traps waiting to be let loose on the unwary. I was not unwary, nor was this my first encounter with the Military Police.
The sergeant’s take on this was first, that if the Corporal said no that was it ‘No… Final, End Of Subject. Move On..!’ Well I was not prepared to move on. So remaining calm and speaking in a rather quiet tone so he has to actually listen to what I was saying. I asked. “On whose authority was he denying me the same free transit now afforded to the Public by the East German Government..?” I also wished to see the Directive in writing..!
Not at my request but at his the sergeant summons the Duty officer. A rather young Captain. With all that was happening around Checkpoint Charlie with the mass migration of thousands of East Germans, he had way more important things to be doing than mess about with one guy wishing to travel completely against the flow of the mass migration going on.
To be fair to him he did listen to my plan and route and nodded in approval when I assured him my Major would phone here in the morning to confirm my safe arrival at Steibis. The Captain then asked the corporal and sergeant. Why this couldn’t be done? And were there any orders forbidding it..? The reply that it’s never been done before was dismissed. My Nato Travel order was Stamped and it was off through Checkpoint Charlie for me.
Once in the East of Berlin, it is like going through a Time Warp. Anything you have seen in the Movies or on TV just doesn’t do it justice. Things like bullet holes around the windows of the houses that are still in the forbidden zone. Street signs in Old Germanic script. I could go on but I don’t wish to deviate from my journey.
Once clear of the checkpoint area and in East Berlin proper. I drove down Waltersdorfer Chausee to the Russian Checkpoint where the Berlin Wall intersects the Road. During my drive down to the checkpoint, two things were obvious. I was the only western car around, and everyone I saw was heading in the direction I’d come from. The other side of the road was jam-packed with Trabant’s belching out black smoke from their two-stroke engines, and both pavements were solid with people walking into the centre of Berlin and the hope of getting into the West.
Just before I approached the Russian Checkpoint I saw a Car Park area on my right and decided to do my pre-Russian Checkpoint drills there. What are these drills you may well ask..! They are simple things but make your transit past the Russian guards so much simpler and faster. 1, Only have your Paperwork on display. 2, Get everything else out of sight. 3, Display your Transit Board.
So once I had parked I checked my paperwork was in order on the passenger seat. Slid my Thermos flask and Mars bars under the front seat out of sight. Then check that the blanket I had covering all my military gear on the back seat was doing its job.
Happy that I had everything in order I started up the car and was about to head to the Checkpoint when I saw a fairly large group of people holding signs standing just short of the entrance to the East German Immigration Office. They were holding signs to places all over West Germany. All in the hope of somebody leaving Berlin might give them a lift.
I was just about to drive off and continue my journey when I saw a young lady holding a sign to Kempten. Kempten is twenty minutes from the end of my journey. It would have been rude of me to drive passed and not inquire if it was the same Kempten I was heading to. So that’s just what I did. I pulled up alongside her and asked if her sign was for Kempten Bavaria? Her face lit up and in the slow English of someone who doesn’t use it much, she said yes, and that she was travelling from Dresden to Kempten to see her Grandmother.
I explained that I would happily take her all the way to her Grandmother as it was on my way home. There was utter disbelief on her face, yet she must have trusted me as she got in on my passenger side. Though she was amazed at scoring a lift all the way to Grandmothers she was a little more amazed at my electric widow going up on its own. She placed her small canvas bag between her feet and excepted to hold the Paper Work I gave her as we went through the Checkpoint.
There was abject fear on her face when I turned off the main road and headed to the Russian Checkpoint. I had to pull over and calm her down, explaining that I was Military and had to use this route. Thankfully I did, as the regular East German crossing point had massive tailbacks that would have delayed me for hours. Yet on the military corridor, I was the only person. While driving to the barrier I quickly explained the drill to my new travelling companion. At the Barrier, I would get out, salute the guard, and enter the porter cabin. Complete my paperwork, and then I would return to her. All she had to do was just sit in the car and do nothing. She must not get out, not speak to the Russian no matter what he says or ask’s. I made it clear to her that she was totally safe in the car, and I would lock the doors.
So at the barrier, I stopped turned off the engine, got my paperwork, saluted the guard and headed to the office. Inside I presented my documents got my passport stamped and was quickly returning to the car. A final salute to the guard and I was reseated next to my new companion. Her relief was audible. The barrier was raised and we were on our way down the military corridor, this two-lane piece of the motorway is exclusively for military vehicles and runs parallel to the main road into East Berlin. Looking across I could see the tailback of traffic stretched for miles.
I have no idea what thoughts were rushing through this poor girl’s head. One moment she is stood alongside the road in the hope of a lift at least part way to her Grandmother. The next moment she is sat in a western car with windows that work themselves. With a guy whom Russian sentries salute and who drives down a totally empty motorway while the other roads are blocked solid with migrating East Germans. And It got crazier..!
Once we had cleared the Russian Security Towers and were driving in East Germany My new found friend started to relax. We swopped names hers being Cassandra. I was tempted to tell her she was named after the daughter of the King and Queen of Troy, but I was sure that tit bit would have been waisted. Instead I asked her how her journey had progressed so far.
She was happy to chat and was now much more relaxed. She told me she was in college in Dresden studying Politics and that she had got a lift earlier this morning with a chap in a Trabant. The only issue she had was although he had an eight-track stereo he only had a single cassette of Nana Mouskouri that he played on repeat.
I asked Cassandra if she enjoyed western music. Her reply was that she had only heard a little bit on the odd handful of cassettes that were passed around the college. I asked her who she liked, or what artists she could remember. She said she didn’t know names other than Michael Jackson and Elton John, and didn’t really know of any bands..!
Well time to amaze my guest again. I asked her to open the glove compartment in front of her and take out the plastic container. This was my travelling music CD collection of about 50 CDs of various artists including Elton and Michael. A quick introduction on how to use the CD player and we were Rocking to Elton John..! Cassandra was like a kid in a sweet shop once she was familiar with the Skip Function and Eject button she was in musical heaven…!
The drive through East Germany was going OK, the scenery was engaging, and the music was pumping. We were passing lots of rolling countryside with the odd town or city thrown in for good measure. I had decided to cut under Berlin along the A10 to the A9 that heads south to Leipzig and beyond. The only problem I encountered was the actual road surfaces. When the East German Autobahns were built, they were laid out in 75-meter lengths of concrete then to allow for summer heat expansion, and winter contraction an inch-thick strip of bitumen was laid. Then the next concrete was poured. This results in you driving along and encountering a Fudump every 12 seconds or so as you bump the bitumen..!
To say that this Fudump is annoying is an understatement. Driving slower results in only a delayed Fudump. So my solution was to speed up…. a lot. Fast enough to reduce the Fudump to a purr…! And as we were more or less the only traffic apart from the odd Trabant and Lorry things were progressing beautifully.
People who know me appreciate that I am a ‘Coffee lover.’ I don’t drink tea, it’s the devil’s work, made worse when milk is added. Well as we had been travelling for a few hours now I asked the fair Cassandra if she would like a Coffee. Her reply was really sweet. She told me yes she would like a coffee but did not have the budget to buy one, but if I wished to stop and get one she would happily wait in the car.
Yet again she was amazed when I told her we were not stopping for coffee, as I had it with me. I instructed her to feel for the metal thermos under her seat. This she did and looked at it in wonder. In East Germany, thermos flasks are made of Tin with a Glass insert with a screw or cork lid. Here she was holding a complete stainless steel one with two cups and a unique pouring system where you don’t need to remove the lid. Just a tiny bit of guidance and we were zooming south enjoying our coffee.
There were three more, how shall I put it…! Interesting encounters on our journey south. The first was, I would say a 50-50 shout between me and the Trabant driver. Me, for travelling as fast as I could, and him for not checking his mirrors for a western driver travelling at 120 miles an hour screaming up behind him. The Trabant driver was sat in between two fairly large lorries, I presume he had overtaken one and was waiting for a downhill section of road to complete his manoeuvre on the second lorry, as his little Trabant need all the assistance it could get to overtake anything.
I was looking ahead up the road, and all seemed well I saw the two lorries. My plan was to just carry on and overtake both lorries in one move by remaining in the outside lane, at that time no need to reduce speed as the road was clear.
Well, it was until ‘Mr Trabant’ decided to pop out from between the two lorries and cut me up like a Kipper..! Thank the Gods for ABS braking…! I must have left half a years rubber along that stretch of the A9…! Cassandra saw her life flash before her eyes. Mr Trabant never made his overtaking manoeuvre and slid back into the gap between the lorries, where he probably stayed till his destination..!
I, on the other hand, played it cool. I didn’t scream obscenities at the Trabant, I would have had I been alone. I just continued driving as normal… Perhaps just a little slower, and I put my headlights on..!
The second interesting encounter happened just after Mönchgrun while still on the A9..! This is where the four-lane motorway reduces to a two-lane motorway as it crosses a River via an Old Girder Bridge. I was zooming along nicely totally unaware the bridge was approaching fast. Well, that was until a ‘Nice East German Policeman Stood in the middle of the road waving his little red stop lollypop.’ More rubber was deposited on the A9, as I stopped just in front of the Policeman who rightly took a few steps back..! I would have too.
From my right came another policeman, I slid down the passenger window and the policeman addressed me in English, having noted my Nato Plates and UK Flag on my transit board. “Sir you failed to recognise the 100km marker, you failed to recognise the 80km marker, you also failed to recognise the 60km marker and you nearly hit my colleague. I shall have to write you a ticket.”
How was I to get out of this one, he had me bang to rights. I was guilty as hell.! Thinking on my feet I explained to him that I was in fact British Military from Berlin, and we as an occupying power did not recognise the authority of the East German Police Force. Could I be permitted to continue my journey..?
He looked at my military ID which I had offered him, and then without blinking he replied. ” Yes you are a special case, I shall call for a Russian Military Police Man. That could take hours or days..! Or I could write you a Ticket..?”
He had me with my trousers down and over the barrel, he knew it, and he knew I knew it too. “Well, you had better write me a ticket my friend I said…! He walked back to the police hut grinning from ear to ear…!
On his return, he held in his hand the ticket pad that I had to sign. My speeding ticket was 725 Marks. I reached into my ashtray where I kept my Dollars and East marks and once I had signed his pad I gave him 800 East Marks and said “Please keep the change.” I said this not in a condescending way, but because I know how badly they are paid. He replied, “I’m sorry you cannot do that, I have to give you your change.” And he wandered off to get me my change.
While he was away I asked Cassandra to feel under her seat once again for the Mars Bars this she did and raised them with a flourish. Our smiling Policeman returned with my Blue receipt and my change. I thanked him and said that if I could not let him have the change could I perhaps give him and his friend who was still standing with his lollypop in front of my car some chocolate. To which he replied, “Yes that was OK.”
I asked him if he and his buddy had children, and the answer was Two and One, so I gave the Police officer five jumbo mars bars, one each for them and also for their children. And made ready to continue my journey. The officer’s parting words to me were, “You will slow down won’t you..?” My reply was… ” Probably not..!” And off into the early afternoon, we drove..! Please don’t misunderstand me I do not recommend speeding or reckless driving. For most of the Journey through East Germany apart from the odd lorry or tractor, we were the only vehicle on the road. And if there was a build-up of traffic I did slow down accordingly.
So encounter number three was a double whammy. As I had been rushing along my petrol gauge was rushing to the left, I needed fuel and rather quickly. Fortunately, we happened upon a Service Station of sorts. It had regular Pumps and a few caravans selling food and beverages. Being hungry by now it was time to fill the car and ourselves.
I dutifully got in line for my chosen petrol pump and when my turn came I asked the young man to fill the tank up. On completion, he approached my window and said 550 marks. No great drama. I reached for my ashtray once more and pulled out my East marks counted out 600 and offered them to the chap. I was about to say ‘Keep the change’ when he tried the old Bait and Switch routine. He said ” No… West Marks! You are a Foreigner..!
Now I would have happily let him keep the 50 marks change, more money than he would earn that day. But he tried to pull a fast one on me..! And I was not having any of it. Get me your Boss I said. His Boss eventually walked over from another Pump. “What country are we in..?” I asked him. ” Are we in East or West Germany here..?” “What currency do you use in East Germany… West or East Marks…?” He answered sort of to all my questions with a single answer “East..!” “Right, then I shall be paying in East Marks and I better get the correct change..!” I also added that I would be reporting the youth to the Russians when I get to the border..! The guy’s face went white..!
The Boss was apologising repeatedly, yet the young guy remained silent. Probably envisioning the rest of his life in a Gulag if the Russians got to him before freedom..! Now I’m not a vindictive sort of chap, so I did not report him to anyone. I just hope he learnt from our encounter.
Well, with all that excitement I was now ravenously hungry. I asked Cassandra if she wanted a Hot dog and a Coke. Her reply was again rather sweet, yes but no budget for it. I apologised and said I was sorry I meant as my treat to her for being so patient. This time I got a yes with a smile. I parked the car near the food caravans and Cassandra and I got out to order food. I approached the nearest caravan and asked for two hotdogs and two cokes. In my head, I envisioned two lovely Bratwurst in fresh buns and two chilled cans of coke.
What was served was not even close. The Hotdogs still had charcoal stuck to them, as they were cooking not on a grill but had been laid on the charcoal. The Buns we could have used as cricket balls, they were that hard. And the Coke was sort of Afri Cola in a soft plastic bottle. I don’t recall what I paid for it, but the only edible part was the inside of the hotdog. I tried the cola and that was truly shocking. Most of what we had we put into the bin by the side of the van.
Fortunately, there were still surprises under Cassandra’s seat several NAFFI sandwiches and two can’s of real Coke…! So seated on a bench near the car Cassandra and I had a mini picnic in the fading evening light.
The Border crossing from East Germany to the West went as smooth as clockwork. In and out in seconds much too Cassandras’ relief. It would have been a nightmare had we been turned back there, and had to retrace our steps back to Berlin..!
Compared to the East German autobahns the west German roads were like silk, and I could now quite safely put my foot down. It wasn’t long into the evening when Nurnburg and then Munich flew past us and we could vaguely see the Alps from the Allgauer Tor where I stopped again for fuel and a quick coffee.
Kempten soon approached and I asked Cassandra for her family’s address. A quick check of the map and I knew exactly where to head for. The bit of Kempten that her Grandmother lives in is a complex of four blocks of flats. The second block was the one we required. Grandmother lived on the ground floor and I stood by the car until the door was opened the crying had stopped, and I had waved them both inside.
It was getting cold now, and I was glad to be back in the warmth of my car. Happy in my heart that I had done a good deed for the day. And shared wonderful memories and amazing experiences with Cassandra.
As I weaved my way through the final roads up to the Mountain Hutte that is ‘The Berlin Adventure Training Center Germany.’ I had one last reflection about Cassandra, and how, I would have loved to have been a Fly on the wall as she explained to Grandma about her day…!
Chesty Traveling 